In an important scene in the new middle-grade graphic novel Opting Out, 12-year-old Saachi's father is giving her a pep talk: "You don't start off good at something. You get better and better until it changes! Then the cycle repeats."
Saachi is having a hard time in seventh grade, though neither of her parents have a clear sense of exactly what is going on. She's just received a three-day school suspension after being caught, for the second time this year, fighting with another student in her grade. In a show of support, Saachi's father has decided to take her with him to a temple on one of those days. In part he wants to remind her of the cyclical worldview of Hinduism, their family's religion. He wants Saachi to understand that change happens; we must try to respond to change as best we can; and, whatever the outcome, change happens again.
Saachi's parents count 12, not 13, as the initial stage of the teen years. And, as her father explains, what Saachi is getting better and better at, with practice, is being a teenager.
This exchange is an unusual but impactful take on a parent-teen heart-to-heart that too often, in life and in literature, can veer into humdrum cliché. The conversation unfolds at a pivotal moment in Opting Out, the latest work by Maia Kobabe and co-creator Swati "Lucky" Srikumar. Saachi is a head-strong, confident sixth grader when the book opens, but soon enough she finds herself increasingly frustrated as the social dynamics of elementary school seem to unravel before her very eyes. While previously she could count on her best friend, Lyla, to sit next to her in class, now suddenly Lyla has a crush, and she'd rather sit next to him. In fact, everyone around her, first in sixth, then especially seventh grade, seems interested in the worlds of dating and romance.
It's not just the coupling off that unnerves Saachi. Her body is full of surprises. (Cue scenes of getting her first period in class, then being pulled aside by a teacher telling her she's taking too many bathroom breaks.) Saachi has a warm, supportive family, including an upbeat, stylish younger sister, Samaira, who occupies the lower half of a shared bunk bed. She has a strong sense of self, too, particularly when it comes to her passions, storytelling and writing. Even at 12, she is determined to see her work published. It's all this other stuff that confounds her — the confusing experiences that Saachi initially cannot name, then eventually learns, from a book, are commonly referred to as gender identity and gender expression.
Saachi doesn't only feel out of place beside her hand-holding, coupled peers. She hates the bathing suits her mother picks out for her to wear. She doesn't want to date, and she also doesn't like "girly stuff." "I wish I didn't have a body," she tells Lyla, but Lyla seems increasingly baffled by her friend. Her teachers aren't much help either. "I would like to opt out of both genders, please," Saachi boldly declares when her class is split into two groups, boys and girls, in order to receive sex education in separate classrooms. "Sit back down," an irritated teacher replies.
Opting Out is a warm and ultimately uplifting, but also direct and honest, look at the upheavals that often occupy the early teenage years. Any young person will find ways to connect with the dizzying changes that Saachi experiences; but young people grappling with similar questions, of where and how to fit into a gender binary that feels limiting and confounding, will perhaps find even more recognition — and reassurance — here.
While this work is Srikumar's debut, co-creator Kobabe is already well known for Gender Queer, a graphic memoir, unlike Opting Out, which is aimed at older teens and adults and tracks a young person's exploration of gender and sexuality into adulthood. First published in 2019, Kobabe's bold and original memoir has been so significant that a new version, Gender Queer: The Annotated Edition, was published in May. This expanded text includes, alongside the original comics, commentary and notes — some by the author, others by critics, former teachers, and co-creators, like Kobabe's sibling, Phoebe, who colored the memoir and also appears in several scenes. Though Kobabe's work is well known at this point for being one of the most challenged books by conservative parental groups in American libraries, it's perhaps more to the point to note the literary gap that the memoir, with its many enthusiasts, seems to have filled.
Opting Out, which is aimed at readers aged 10-12, is sure to find its own eager audience. The book has a rich and vibrant color scheme, with down-to-earth but vivid illustrations. The plotline is easy to follow, peppered with pleasant surprises. There's an unexpected thread tracing Saachi's evolving relationship with her younger sibling, for example, as well as one following her interactions with a nemesis-turned-confidant.
"Even the gods change," Saachi's father reassures her in that same conversation, reminding her of how, in stories told about Vishnu, one of the main deities of Hinduism, he took different forms each time he came down to the earth. "Every avatar is different, but each is still Vishnu and has its role to play."
If growing up takes practice, then that practice inevitably entails trying out various ways of being in the world. Sometimes that involves opting in, sometimes opting out. Above all else, it means embracing possibility.
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